S2E35 – Dave Caperton | Using Humor to Open People Up to New Mindsets

My guest today is Dave Caperton. Dave is an author, speaker and thought leader on ways that joy drives success.

 

Dave uses humor to teach corporations, associations, individuals, and groups how living and working with intentional joy is an act of leadership and a disciplined will. He has 20 years of real-world experience speaking, coaching, and writing about the benefits of a joyful mindset in a business context, including how to unleash creativity, improve health, increase engagement, supercharge learning, and provide legendary service and care while reducing stress and conflict. As a veteran educator, performance consultant, comedian, and comedy writer, Dave fuses entertaining stories, in-depth research, and proven learning strategies to provide conversations about joy to celebrate success, solve people’s problems, and build a bridge between where you are now and where you want to be.

 

Dave came out of education. He was a teacher, and grew up with a family of teachers, teaching high school English. He did that for 11 years, and then he got into stand-up comedy. That led me to an opportunity to be a weekly radio guest in Columbus on a local FM station. And from there, he met a motivational speaker, Phil Sorrentino, who got him started down the path of combining humor and development.

 

Using humor as a vehicle to open people’s minds

 

When you are happy, you’re open. And while people are open, you can drop them ideas and new ways of thinking. Some of those new ways of thinking are choices that you can make that affect your mindset, which affects everything – the way that you approach your work, the way you handle stress, the way that you interact with the people you work with, and the way you serve your customers.

 

All of that happens by the choices we make, how we choose to explain our adversities to ourselves. It’s a decider on whether or not we’re happy, joyful people, or we’re people who are pessimistic and feeling put upon.

 

At a conference for cancer survivors, Dave watched this woman walk into the room. She had people around her who were laughing and smiling. And yet, she was clearly a cancer survivor going through treatment: She had her head wrapped in a scarf to hide the hair loss.

 

Dave was nervous about speaking in this group. He hadn’t walked in their shoes, he didn’t have the authority to tell them, “Humor is going to be important for your coping with this life changing illness.”

 

But when she got close enough, he read her T-shirt. It said, “Hair by chemo.” He laughed, and at first he felt bad about it, but then he realized what she was doing: She was understanding what was life and death and what wasn’t.

 

Loss of hair wasn’t life and death. It was a side effect, and it would go back. She allowed humor to be the way she coped with that.

 

Humor Is An Insulator

 

Dave loves to cook breakfast. Saturday morning rolls around, he is out of bed, downstairs, at 6:00 a.m. He puts the fire on, plops some bacon grease in the cast iron skillet, and starts chopping up some potatoes and onions. He’s in the zone.

 

Suddenly there’s smoke coming up off the fat that’s liquefied. He thinks, “Oh, that’s going to burn the onions charred. It will ruin everything.” So, he turns around and grabs the handle of the skillet. The hot, cast iron skillet.

 

He seared his hand. Then a fire started, the smoke alarm goes off, his hand is puffing up. He looked down and there’s a big red potholder sitting on the counter. So he grabbed it, wrapped it around the handle of the skillet, and moved it off to fire. Then he put out the fire.

 

His wife Suzanne comes down and looks at him saying, “What has happened in here?” The room is filled with smoke, alarm still blaring away, and he’s pouring water on this handle-shape brand on the palm of his hand… but he’s laughing.

 

And at that moment, he looked down at the potholder and something clicked. He went, “That’s it. That’s humor. That’s how it works. It didn’t put out the fire. It doesn’t really change that reality, but it gives you an insulator that just, for a moment, you can get a hold of something that maybe is too painful a reality to come in direct contact with.” And most of the time, that’s enough.

 

 

Resources:

 

Transcript:

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Dave Caperton: [00:00:00] But here’s the problem with transactional thinking. You’re an accountant, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:00:03] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:00:04] You know that at the heart of every transaction is what? What’s the least I can give for the most I can get?

Peter Margaritis: [00:00:11] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:00:12] That’s not a recipe for real engagement. That’s not a recipe for people who are going to be able to create more than the sum of their parts, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:00:23] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:00:23] That happens when they’re getting needs met. That happens when they feel included. That happens when they feel appreciated. That happens when they laugh together.

Peter Margaritis: [00:00:39] Welcome to Change Your Mindset Podcast, formerly known as Improv is No Joke, where it’s all about believing that strong communication skills are the best way in delivering your technical accounting knowledge and growing your business. An effective way of building stronger communication skills is by embracing the principles of applied improvisation. Your host is Peter Margaritis, CPA, a.k.a. The Accidental Accountant. And he will interview financial professionals and business leaders to find their secret in building stronger relationships with their clients, customers, associates, and peers; all the while growing their businesses. So, let’s start the show.

Peter Margaritis: [00:01:26] Welcome to Episode 35. My guest today is Dave Caperton. Dave is an author, speaker and thought leader on ways that joy drives success. Dave uses humor to teach corporations, associations, individuals, and groups how living and working with intentional joy is an act of leadership and a disciplined will. It’s not about avoiding or denying pain, which is impossible, but about maintaining joy as the default mode. It’s like the King of the Hill game we played when we were kids. Joyful people are always happy, but they don’t whine, and they don’t choose responses like compassionate humor to give back to joy quickly when life knocks them down.

Peter Margaritis: [00:02:07] Dave has 20 years of real-world experience speaking, coaching, and writing about the benefits of a joyful mindset in a business context, including how to unleash creativity, improve health, increase engagement, supercharge learning, and provide legendary service and care while reducing stress and conflict. As a veteran educator, performance consultant, comedian, and comedy writer, Dave fuses entertaining stories, in-depth research, and proven learning strategies to provide conversations about joy to celebrate success, solve people problems, and build a bridge between where you are now and where you want to be.

Peter Margaritis: [00:02:49] His clients values programs because they provide a shared experience that is highly interactive, informative, and funny, but also because they get results. Unlike many humor speakers, Dave’s programs are infused with relevant and transformative takeaways that provide lasting value to accelerate you towards your goals. Dave is the author of Happiness is a Funny Thing, a book he describes as a why-to book for greater happiness, health, and laughter both at work and at home.

Peter Margaritis: [00:03:22] Now, before we get to the interview, Change Your Mindset is part of the C-Suite Radio family of podcasts. It is an honor and a privilege to be amongst some of the more popular business podcasts, such as The Hero Factor, which Jeffrey Hayzlett, Amazing Business Radio with Shep Hyken, and Keep Leading with Eddie Turner. You can find Change Your Mindset and many other outstanding business podcasts on C-Suite Radio by going to www.c-suiteradio.com. In addition, you can now listen to this podcast on I Heart Radio.

Announcer: [00:03:55] This podcast is part of the C-Suite Radio network: turning the volume off on business.

Peter Margaritis: [00:04:02] And now, a word from our sponsor.

Sponsor: [00:04:05] This episode is sponsored by Peter A. Margaritis LLC, a.k.a. The Accidental Accountant. Are you looking for a high-content and engaging speaker for your next conference? Do you want to deliver a story to stakeholders that will transform data dumping to engaging business conversations? Do you want to feel that the value a speaker provides your audience far exceeds the dollar value on their invoice? Then, book Peter for your next conference, management retreat, or workshop. Contact Peter at peter@petermargaritis.com and visit his website at www.petermargaritis.com. By the way, one of his Fortune 50 clients actually made the comment about the value he brings to your audience.

Peter Margaritis: [00:04:54] Now, let’s get to the interview with Dave Caperton.

Dave Caperton: [00:05:00] Welcome back, everybody. I’m here in Denver, Colorado to NSA’s annual Influence Convention and ran into one of the NSA Ohio chapter members, Dave Caperton. And I coerced him. I think have to buy him cocktail, but he said that he would sit and be interviewed on my podcast. So, Dave-

Dave Caperton: [00:05:22] Yes.

Peter Margaritis: [00:05:22] … thank you very much for taking time out of your hectic and busy schedule to spend some time talking with me.

Dave Caperton: [00:05:29] I can’t think of a better way to spend a few minutes. Well, I just thought of a couple of things. I thought of a couple. They’re coming fast and furious now. I’m thinking of dozens of things.

Peter Margaritis: [00:05:40] And the sarcasm was dripping off of that.

Dave Caperton: [00:05:46] That’s just a value add.

Peter Margaritis: [00:05:47] Yeah. And just to help it all come to fruition. So, can you give my audience a little bit about your background, Dave?

Dave Caperton: [00:05:55] Yeah, I came out of education. I was a teacher from a family that had quite a few educators. My wife is a teacher, my sister, her sister. So, we’ve got education in our DNA. And so, I did that for about 11 years. I taught high school English. And then, I got into stand-up comedy. I started doing that. And that led me to an opportunity to be a weekly radio guest in Columbus on a local FM station. And there, I met a fella who was a motivational speaker, first one I had ever met. And name is Phil Sorrentino.

Peter Margaritis: [00:06:31] I knew exactly who you’re going to say, yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:06:33] Absolutely. He came in every Saturday morning on Sunny 95 to do his Monday morning self-motivational message. Well, I was on before him each Monday. So, we would overlap. He was always early. And we got acquainted. And so, he gave me an opportunity to do a program. And within a couple of years, I was working for him and did it full time.

Peter Margaritis: [00:06:56] So, you worked really?

Dave Caperton: [00:06:56] Yeah, worked-

Peter Margaritis: [00:06:56] You worked for Humor Consultants?

Dave Caperton: [00:06:56] Full time for five years.

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:01] Really?

Dave Caperton: [00:07:01] I did.

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:01] I did not know that.

Dave Caperton: [00:07:02] You didn’t know that. So, yeah. So, people in Columbus, if they’ve been around a few years, they might remember.

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:09] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:07:09] Phil Sorrentino and Humor Consultants Incorporated.

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:11] Yeah. Actually, I almost worked with Phil at one point in time.

Dave Caperton: [00:07:15] Did you really?

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:16] Yeah. It never transpired, but yeah. Yeah. That was probably after your time because he didn’t have any-

Dave Caperton: [00:07:21] He didn’t have any with him at that point?

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:23] No.

Dave Caperton: [00:07:23] Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. He moved from Columbus down to Fort Lauderdale. And now, he’s a Florida guy.

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:29] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:07:30] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:30] So, you’ve got this education background, standup comedy on the—see, this is why you’re natural. I mean, with the radio voice, you’re used to this, this interview style.

Dave Caperton: [00:07:40] Yeah, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:07:41] Yes.

Dave Caperton: [00:07:43] But you know what? I mean, you say it’s natural, but I came from standup. And when I was first invited on to the radio station for this morning bit, I said, “Well, what do I do?” And they said, “Just do something you do when you’re in your act.” And I said, “Oh, okay, I got this.”

Peter Margaritis: [00:08:01] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:08:02] And I walked in, and they played some music for me to come on. “We have a new guest. He’s here this Monday morning. And he’s going to share some humor with us. He’s a teacher and a standup comedian. It’s Dave Caperton.” And my heart’s pounding. This is kind of new. There’s no audience out here. I’m just looking at a microphone. And all of a sudden, he says, “Hey, Dave, what’s the hubbub in education?”.

Peter Margaritis: [00:08:25] He used the word hubbub?

Dave Caperton: [00:08:29] Hubbub. And the word just threw me, and I said, “The hubbub?” And suddenly, I couldn’t think of anything because I had this whole other thing planned. And now, we’re talking about the hubbub, and I froze. Well, on radio, of course, you can lose your FCC license-

Peter Margaritis: [00:08:48] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:08:49] It was dead air. And my mouth is moving, nothing’s coming out. The producer watered up a piece of paper and beat me on the head with it, which kind of snapped me out of my—

Peter Margaritis: [00:08:59] Out of that [inaudible].

Dave Caperton: [00:08:59] He did. I think he’s figured it, the rolling motion, “Talk.” I finally got into motion. I thought, “Oh, what a disaster. I’m done.” And fellow’s name was Mike Fist. It was Mike and Jane in the Morning. And he called me up that night, and he said, “What happened to you today?” “I don’t know. This “hubbub in education” thing threw me.” He said, “It doesn’t matter what I say? You talk about whatever you want. I say, ‘Education.’ You say, ‘I don’t talk about that. I want to talk about the Cleveland Browns,'” And, finally, I realize, “Oh, okay. Now, I kind of get it.” So, every single week I went in terrified that I was going to forget. So, I had my bit bullet pointed. And in my breast pocket, every single week for five years, I never took it out of my pocket. It was like Dumbo’s magic feather in there. It’s just like I know it’s there. I’m okay.

Peter Margaritis: [00:09:52] That’s cool. But will it be nice if he told you at the beginning, prior to you coming on that first time, “By the way, when I ask you a question, just change the subject”?

Dave Caperton: [00:10:00] Yeah, yeah. Well, he didn’t say that, so.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:03] No, but you’re a professional. I don’t have to tell you that. What do you want to be talking about?

Dave Caperton: [00:10:07] I thought you were until you fumbled with recording device for 10 minutes.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:12] Well, sometimes, you forget to hit a button. It proves that you’re a true podcaster when you can mess it up and still keep the guest wanting to still be interviewed.

Dave Caperton: [00:10:21] Yeah, yeah, right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:23] So, now, you’re a professional. You’ve been a professional speaker.

Dave Caperton: [00:10:27] Yeah, 25 years.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:28] For 25 years.

Dave Caperton: [00:10:29] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:29] And you’re not up on stage just telling jokes.

Dave Caperton: [00:10:32] No.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:33] And that’s not-

Dave Caperton: [00:10:33] No, no.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:33] You have a message in there that you share.

Dave Caperton: [00:10:36] Right. The way I look at it is I’m using humor as the vehicle because that’s what opens up people’s minds when we’re laughing together.

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:45] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:10:45] I mean, think about it, when you laugh, part of you is in agreement with whatever is making you laugh, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:10:50] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:10:50] And I just believe that when you are happy, you’re open. It’s almost like an open channel. And while people are open, you can drop them ideas and new ways of thinking. And so, some of those new ways of thinking are there are choices that you can make that affect your mindset, which affects everything – the way that you approach your work, the way you handle stress, the way that you interact with the people you work with, the way you serve your customers. All of that happens by the choices we make, how we choose to explain our adversity to ourselves. It’s a decider on whether or not we’re happy, joyful people, or we’re people, all the time, pessimistic and feeling put upon. So, I use humor to help people in my stories or my observations, and they’re laughing. And then, I try to bring it back to, “But the lesson here is this.”.

Peter Margaritis: [00:11:48] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:11:49] Right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:11:50] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:11:50] And so, they walk away and, hopefully, spend some of that sticks. But it’s not in spite of the laughter. That’s because of it.

Peter Margaritis: [00:11:57] Exactly. So, what’s the old joke at NSA about if you to be a professional speaker? Do I have to be funded to be a professional speaker?

Dave Caperton: [00:12:05] Only if you want to get paid.

Peter Margaritis: [00:12:07] Yeah. But there is some—along those lines, there is some truth in that, because the more we can make the audience laugh, the more engaged they are.

Dave Caperton: [00:12:16] Sure.

Peter Margaritis: [00:12:16] Their the mind is opening, and we’re making them laugh, and put in there learning.

Dave Caperton: [00:12:23] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:12:23] There is a journalism professor at OU named Mel Helitzer.

Dave Caperton: [00:12:27] Yeah, Mel Helitzer, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:12:27] And he wrote a book called Comedy Secrets.

Dave Caperton: [00:12:30] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:12:31] But I read somewhere, I’ve kept this. I use this when I was teaching that it’s not what’s taught at universities, what’s caught. And if I can make my students laugh, and then spoon in that knowledge-

Dave Caperton: [00:12:43] Exactly.

Peter Margaritis: [00:12:43] … same way that—yeah, just-

Dave Caperton: [00:12:44] Exactly, yeah. That’s what it is. It’s funny because, sometimes, you work with the bureau, or you work with a client, and they’ll ask this question, which always kind of both amused and puzzled me, where they’ll say, “What percentage is content in your message—in your program, and what percentage is entertainment or humor? What’s the percentage of each?” So, I like to get on something really specific, like it’s 48% content and 52% humor. But I thought, no, look, honestly, it’s 100% content.

Peter Margaritis: [00:13:18] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:13:20] But it’s wrapped in something that they can digest. That’s the sugar coating on the nutritional core, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:13:31] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:13:31] And that’s all it really is. So, I just find it’s an effective teaching. It was true in my classroom. When kids were laughing, not meaning that you could get carried away.

Peter Margaritis: [00:13:41] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:13:42] I think that’s even true in speaking. You can chase a laugh to the point that you completely dilute the message.

Peter Margaritis: [00:13:48] Exactly.

Dave Caperton: [00:13:49] And if it’s been—if you just want to entertain, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you can strike that balance, it’s in there, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:13:57] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:13:58] Or it has a point. And when bring it back to it, then the laughter really does—it serves, and it adds value.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:05] It adds value.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:05] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:06] So, thinking about my audience, and they tend to be financial professionals, and they go through very stressful times.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:14] Sure.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:15] And because I remember when I was in public accounting, those stressful times and there’s no humor.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:21] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:21] I mean, when they need it the most, there was no humor. I tried. I was told not to. We’re very serious.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:29] We need to get serious here.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:31] Right, we need to get serious.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:32] You treat this like it’s a big joke.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:34] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:35] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:35] Were you there? God, I got goose bumps. I’m reliving something from the past.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:42] He just had a flashback.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:44] Yeah, but I could never make the argument that if we had some fun, we had some humor, it would help manage that stress level.

Dave Caperton: [00:14:50] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:14:51] It just never—and I think that has changed. But can you describe a situation like that where you’ve helped a group who have these periods of time that they’re stressed out? What advice do you give them in order to [crosstalk]?

Dave Caperton: [00:15:05] Well, you know what? That really laid back because I’ve been doing this a long time. On 9/11, I was in line at the ticket counter checking in for a flight on United to go to New York, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:15:20] Really?

Dave Caperton: [00:15:21] I’m going from Columbus, right? So, it’s not like it’s-

Peter Margaritis: [00:15:23] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:15:23] But my wife knew that I was on a flight to New York. And all of a sudden, we’re hearing what’s happening.

Peter Margaritis: [00:15:28] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:15:29] And so, naturally, national ground stopped. The event that I was going for that night was canceled. But they, then, wanted to reschedule a couple of weeks later. But I got a call from a client and she said, “I’m really not certain that your part with humor is going to be right. These people, some of them were actually on the bucket brigades-”

Peter Margaritis: [00:15:55] Oh wow!

Dave Caperton: [00:15:55] “… at ground zero doing the recovery effort.” She said, “So, I’m wondering if this is appropriate.” And I told her about our son, Alex, who was just a young fellow then in 2001. He was just in second grade. But a few years previous, he had gone through childhood cancer. And I mean, in that moment, you’re like, “Laughter’s got no place.”

Peter Margaritis: [00:16:20] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:16:21] But we found out how much it did. It had a huge place. So, I told her that. And I said, “You know what has helped us cope? We found ways to laugh. We found reasons to laugh. We sought reasons to laugh because we needed it.” I said, “Your people need to heal. This is what makes them start to feel normal again. We’re all shocked. We’re all traumatized. This is healing. This isn’t disrespectful.” So, I went, and I did share that with them. It was just amazingly well received. And people laughed, and they enjoyed.

Dave Caperton: [00:16:51] And then, I had a moment where they could share something. One of them was a firefighter. He said, “On the bucket brigade,” he said, “We’re down there in ground zero.” And he said, “Whatever you need,” he goes, “it’s grim work. We know that there are thousands of American lives that were lost and their bodies are in there.” He says, “We’re passing things up and down the line. If you need a short ladder, if you need a flashlight, because you’ve shoved it down the line. And then, it would be repeated over and over again. Flashlight, flashlight, flashlight all down the line. And they would pass that back up.” He said, “And every once in a while, it was just like it got to be too much. And you would just feel everybody fall into this kind of gloom.”

Peter Margaritis: [00:17:30] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:17:31] And he said, “All of a sudden, right then, this guy said, ‘Elephant.'” And he said, “Three people said ‘Elephant,’ passing it up the line because they were so used to repeating it. And then, there was this—everything stopped. The whole line broke up.” He says, “I laughed.” And he said, “And then, we went back to work.” And he said, “That helped kind of reset. We were able to go back and do what we were there to do.” And I think that’s really all the humor. Well, it’s one of the many things that humor does. It gives you that break. It’s like a little ray of sunshine in clouds. It gets, “Ah! And, now, I can go.”

Peter Margaritis: [00:18:07] So, I don’t know if you remember where you were on October 11, 2001. Probably don’t. A month later. But that night, President Bush was doing a press conference.

Dave Caperton: [00:18:17] Okay.

Peter Margaritis: [00:18:18] And the tension in the room was out of control.

Dave Caperton: [00:18:21] Sure.

Peter Margaritis: [00:18:21] I mean, the meter was way to the right. And he got towards the end, and an AP reporter stands up and says, “Mr. President, what are we supposed to do?” And Bush paused for a moment, said, “Well, if you see somebody you don’t know get into a crop duster, call us.” Now, right now, that’s not that funny. But at that moment, the whole room started laughing.

Dave Caperton: [00:18:48] Yeah, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:18:49] And he just kind of—it’s like he, kind of, reset the room.

Dave Caperton: [00:18:52] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:18:52] … to, “Okay. Now, we’re going a little bit on the way too emotional rational side. Let’s bring it back to something real that we can manage moving forward and try to contain that.” So, somebody—it was almost hysteria at that point if you-

Dave Caperton: [00:19:08] Yeah, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:19:08] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:19:09] Yeah. I read a book one time called This Job Should Be Fun by Bob Basso. And he told a story in that book about this flight that he was on. And all of a sudden, there was this horrible turbulence unlike anything. He said, “Turbulence is a normal thing,” and he said, “But this was—” He said, “It was scary.” And he said they were really afraid that this was something much more than just turbulence. And all of a sudden, the door opened to the lavatory, and this big guy from Texas steps out. And all of a sudden, all this turbulence stopped, and he stepped out, and they all looked at him, and he said, “I just jiggled the handle, and everything is okay.” And he said, “There was a moment of laughter.” And he says, “Sometimes, that’s what humor does. It just allows you to kind of jiggle the handle. Then, it’s okay.”

Peter Margaritis: [00:20:02] It’s a great analogy. But let’s talk about humor. There’s a-

Dave Caperton: [00:20:05] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:20:06] There’s a difference with humor and jokes.

Dave Caperton: [00:20:11] Yeah. Well, I mean, it’s—humor, certainly, includes jokes. That’s the-

Peter Margaritis: [00:20:16] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:20:16] That’s the big banner here, right? Jokes are part of that.

Peter Margaritis: [00:20:18] Well, the structure of jokes or-

Dave Caperton: [00:20:18] The structure of jokes, yeah. I mean, it’s to evoke humor. But I just think of humor as an attitude of lightness.

Peter Margaritis: [00:20:27] There it is. It’s an attitude.

Dave Caperton: [00:20:29] It’s an attitude. More than anything else, it’s just an attitude. So, it’s the way you approach. It’s the way you come at difficulties, as well as the good stuff if you can apply humor in the easy moments, but that’s great. But when it’s really useful is when it gets tough. That’s when you need it. That’s when we needed it when our son was sick. Any by the way, he did great. He’s fine. And he’s grown up. And he’s-

Peter Margaritis: [00:21:05] He’s off payroll.

Dave Caperton: [00:21:05] He’s—yeah. But yeah. I mean, it’s— those were moments we needed it. And so, humor was just something I think, at that point, you got to seek it out, right? I remember, my mother-in-law is a West Virginia born and bred. I’ve got family members from Appalachia on both sides, right. But she was from Mud Fork, West Virginia, right. Now, you don’t get more West Virginia than Mud Fork-

Peter Margaritis: [00:21:36] Mud Fork, yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:21:36] … West Virginia, right? Coal country, Logan County. And so, she cooks what she describes as hillbilly cook, right? And so, I was at a conference one time for cancer survivors, and I watched this woman walked in the room, and she had people around her who were laughing and smiling. And yet, I could see she was a cancer survivor going through treatment right there, and her head wrapped in a scarf to hide the effects. But she had this T-shirt on that had something written on it. And I was nervous about speaking in this group because I’d go, “Hey, I hadn’t walked in their shoes. I’m not a doctor. I don’t have the authority to tell them, ‘Hey, humor is going to be important for your coping with this life changing illness.'”

Dave Caperton: [00:22:21] So, I was nervous. And she came right down front to sit. And I remember when she got close enough, I read her T-shirt. It said, “Hair by chemo,” right? And I laughed. And then, I kind of stopped. I remember like, “Oh, [inaudible] cancer joke.” But it took me a while to understand that what she was doing was she was understanding what was life and death and what wasn’t.

Peter Margaritis: [00:22:46] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:22:47] Right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:22:47] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:22:47] Loss of the hair wasn’t life and death. It was a side effect, and it would go back. So, she allowed humor to be the way she coped with that. So, back to my mother-in-law from West Virginia, right? So, she would make these wonderful breakfasts. She’d call them hillbilly breakfast. And you know what that is.

Peter Margaritis: [00:23:03] Exactly. I grew up in Kentucky. I’m getting hungry.

Dave Caperton: [00:23:07] Kentucky. So, you know it is fat, and cholesterol, and salt, and nothing good for you. It’s fantastic.

Peter Margaritis: [00:23:12] It tastes wonderful.

Dave Caperton: [00:23:13] It does. Yeah, I think the family crest is like two iron skillets over a field of Lipitor capsules, right? So, anyway, one day, she gave us one of those iron skillets. It had been her great grandmother’s.

Peter Margaritis: [00:23:32] Wow!

Dave Caperton: [00:23:33] Right? From the 1920s, right? Do you know you don’t wash those things?

Peter Margaritis: [00:23:37] Yes, I do know that.

Dave Caperton: [00:23:38] You just wipe them out.

Peter Margaritis: [00:23:40] You’re just going to wipe them out.

Dave Caperton: [00:23:40] That seasoning.

Peter Margaritis: [00:23:41] It got the—yeah, exactly.

Dave Caperton: [00:23:42] It’s like, “Man, this got seasoning from the Coolidge administration. It is incredible.” So, I took this thing home. I love to cook breakfast. My wife and I both like to cook, but I love to cook breakfast. That’s my thing. And so, I said, “I am making us a hillbilly breakfast on Saturday morning.” Now, Saturday morning rolls around, I am out of bed, downstairs, 6:00 a.m. I put the fire on. I put that big black iron, a big dollop of bacon grease on the air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve gone all right. Over there chopping up potatoes and onions, right? I’m kind of whistling the ballad of Jed Clampett. I’m just in the zone.

Dave Caperton: [00:24:16] And almost, as I look around, there’s smoke coming up off the fat that’s all liquefied. I thought, “Oh, that’s going to burn the onions charred. It will ruin everything.” I’ve turned that, get it out the fire for a minute. Like, cool. So, I grabbed the handle of the skillet.

Peter Margaritis: [00:24:32] Oh, you can’t.

Dave Caperton: [00:24:36] Where were you that day, Peter?

Peter Margaritis: [00:24:36] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:24:38] And I dropped it because it seared my hand. That, and then a fire started and stuff. Smoke alarm goes off, right? And I’m just, “Ah!” Fire licking up the walls above the stove. And you can’t pour water on it. It’s a grease fire. “What do I do? What do I do?” And my hand is puffing up, and I looked down, and there’s a big red potholder sitting on the counter. I grabbed the potholder, wrapped it around, the handle of it, and moved it off to fire. Grabbed the baking soda, put out the fire.

Dave Caperton: [00:25:07] By this time, Suzanne is down looking at me going, “What has happened in here?” Because not only is a room filled with smoke, right? Smoke alarm still blaring away. I’m over there pouring water on this skillet handle shape brand on the palm of my hand, but I’m laughing. And she’s looking at the scene trying to figure out what it is that’s so funny because it’s all kind of playing back to me, the slapstick scene.

Dave Caperton: [00:25:34] But at that moment, I looked down at that potholder, and something clicked. I went. “That’s it. That’s humor. That’s how it worked. It didn’t put out the fire. It doesn’t really change that reality, but it gives you an insulator that just, for a moment, you can get a hold of something that maybe is too painful a reality to come in direct contact with.” And most of the time, that’s enough.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:00] I had no idea where you were going with that.

Dave Caperton: [00:26:03] A long way around the bar.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:04] It was a long way around the bar. But man, did you nail it at the end. Once again, Dave Caperton nailed it, but that’s a great metaphor.

Dave Caperton: [00:26:13] Yeah, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:15] The red-

Dave Caperton: [00:26:15] The potholder.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:15] The red potholder.

Dave Caperton: [00:26:15] That’s all you need, red potholder.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:15] And then, turned that into a story and delivered it to a group of folks.

Dave Caperton: [00:26:20] You know what? I used to take potholders with me and tell that story.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:23] Oh, yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:26:24] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:24] Great visual.

Dave Caperton: [00:26:25] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:26] And you were talking about your son, and stuff, and how humor helped. I remember when my son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

Dave Caperton: [00:26:33] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:26:34] And I get him—we get him to the—I’m not sure if he has. I was pretty sure. They do some blood tests and stuff. And then, the doc comes in, and looks at my son square in the eyes, and he’s 16 years old, 15 or 16. Stands and looked at him straight, “You have diabetes.” He did not flinch. He did not cry. All he did was turn, and looked at me, and went, “Hey, thanks, dad!” And I went, “That’s my boy.” He used that little bit of humor-

Dave Caperton: [00:27:11] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:27:11] … to fuse it because he knew that I was over the moon. I mean-

Dave Caperton: [00:27:16] I’m sure, yeah, right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:27:16] I was just completely way over the moon, but he reset me, and brought me back, and basically told me, “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.”

Dave Caperton: [00:27:26] Wow! That’s-

Peter Margaritis: [00:27:27] Yeah. Thanks, dad!

Dave Caperton: [00:27:27] Thanks, Dad.

Peter Margaritis: [00:27:30] Great. Now, I have guilt. Oh, no. Just as an aside. We’re sitting around with some friends, and talking, and the conversation came up. “What did you get from your mom and dad? What characteristics?” It gets to my son, and he goes, “From my mother, I got a kind heart. From my father, I got all these diseases.”

Dave Caperton: [00:27:53] It’s like, “Yeah, I do.”.

Peter Margaritis: [00:27:53] I tried my best. But he’s—I mean, really, I actually tried to get him to maybe start thinking in the comedic layer of doing some-

Dave Caperton: [00:28:01] Really?

Peter Margaritis: [00:28:01] Started doing some writing and stuff, but-

Dave Caperton: [00:28:04] It sounds like he’s got the humor perspective.

Peter Margaritis: [00:28:07] He does.

Dave Caperton: [00:28:07] The humor attitude.

Peter Margaritis: [00:28:07] I have worked very hard to try to help keep that with him.

Dave Caperton: [00:28:11] You know what? And I find a lot of people who have great senses of humor and do something with them are people who have had to use that humor to overcome, to get through, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:28:24] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:28:24] The hard stuff.

Peter Margaritis: [00:28:26] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:28:26] Right? That’s the reason why so many comedians, they’re like, “Hey, look, I had a dysfunctional childhood,” or, “I was picked on as a kid.” And it was their way of surviving. It’s their way of coping. It was their way of getting through. And then, finally, they went, “Wow! I can actually do something with this professionally,” so.

Peter Margaritis: [00:28:42] But it’s that part that, now, you turn it around, and you’re trying to help others.

Dave Caperton: [00:28:48] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:28:49] I mean, I don’t know about your background, but kind of getting to know you, you’re probably like a Norman Rockwell kind of growing up. Like no dysfunctionality. Nothing that is pretty cool, but you have this sense of humor.

Dave Caperton: [00:29:05] Yeah. You know what? I didn’t have a dysfunctional childhood. I had loving parents and a wonderful, loving sister as I was the youngest. I was a baby. I was spoiled rotten.

Peter Margaritis: [00:29:13] That is amazing.

Dave Caperton: [00:29:15] Yeah. But I mean—and that is part of it. It was like you’re always getting the spotlight. So, you grow up the rest of your life going like, “I deserve it.” And so, I think there the low part. Yeah. That’s where the other comedians come from. Some of them were using it as therapy. The rest of us are just jerks, spoiled brats.

Peter Margaritis: [00:29:35] You’re taking that humor, and helping audiences cope with everyday things.

Dave Caperton: [00:29:40] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:29:41] And I think the hard part is—I am going to make the assumption because it’s a hard part for myself. We see them laugh. We see them enjoying. We see them going—we can tell by their eyes and the way their heads-

Dave Caperton: [00:29:53] Sure.

Peter Margaritis: [00:29:53] … they’re picking up what you put down.

Dave Caperton: [00:29:54] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:29:55] But then they leave.

Dave Caperton: [00:29:57] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:29:58] And you know what happens when they leave

Dave Caperton: [00:29:59] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:29:59] They go back to the same old thing. They want to go back to the comfort zone.

Dave Caperton: [00:30:10] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:30:11] And I challenge audiences, you don’t have to be Dave Caperton to make people laugh. Everybody has some sense of humor. Some humor is drier than others. Some are drier than the Mojave Desert. But there’s some humor there. And at those times at work, whether it’s elephant.

Dave Caperton: [00:30:32] Yeah, right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:30:32] Or you start—you bring a beach ball, and you can feel the tension, so you have like a beach ball around the offices just to lighten the stress load.

Dave Caperton: [00:30:44] Right, right. I mean, it’s not—and what I always try to give the groups that I have the privilege of sharing with is something small. I don’t want them walking out with a laundry list of to-dos because I know that’s doomed to fail.

Peter Margaritis: [00:31:01] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:31:02] Walk out with one thing that you’re going to change. However small, if you say, “Wow! I could do that,” I think if we—I believe in granular change. Make it as small as possible, but do it all the time.

Peter Margaritis: [00:31:16] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:31:17] Right? So, that might be simply developing a habit of when—I mean, here’s something people could do when they’re saying, “Man, when things get stressful, how in the world do I find some fun, and joy, and laughter in that moment?” Like start practicing, “It could be worse,” right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:31:38] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:31:38] And those can get awfully ridiculous. Oh, it could be worse. I don’t remember that movie, Young Frankenstein. And they’re digging the grave. They’re going to rob a grave. And Gene Wilder’s character, Frankenstein, he says, “Oh, this is a miserable work.” And Marty Feldman says, “Oh, I don’t know. It could be worse.” He says, “How?” He goes, “It could be raining.” And all of a sudden, he hears thunder. And it’s downpour. “Well, there you go.” So, I think that’s a good exercise. It doesn’t get any worse. It could be worse. It could be raining.

Peter Margaritis: [00:32:16] I did that.

Dave Caperton: [00:32:18] Did you?

Peter Margaritis: [00:32:18] I did that when I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes-

Dave Caperton: [00:32:21] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:32:21] … I said, “It could be worse. It could have been pancreatic cancer.”

Dave Caperton: [00:32:24] Absolutely.

Peter Margaritis: [00:32:26] And that helped me get through.

Dave Caperton: [00:32:27] Yeah, that’s funny. What’s funnier?

Peter Margaritis: [00:32:32] Pancreatic cancer. That’s a death wish. My pancreas wasn’t working, but it could have been.

Dave Caperton: [00:32:40] Yes, yes, absolutely. I mean, that is a good—because it does. Well, it’s just forcing you to change your perspective, right? And then, you can also take it in a fun way. It could be worse, right? I could look like Dave Caperton. I mean, I don’t know. But I mean, you could point-

Peter Margaritis: [00:32:56] You reading my mind right now, my friend?

Dave Caperton: [00:33:00] I got a face for podcast.

Peter Margaritis: [00:33:03] That’s what my mother told me when I was younger. I had a face for radio, so I knew I was going to be successful at this.

Dave Caperton: [00:33:08] We’re perfect together. I had—once, I’ve met somebody after I was doing radio for a while, and she said, “Are you the guy who does this thing on Monday morning?” “Yeah.” She said, “You sound fat and blonde. That’s how I pictured you. A big, heavy guy with blonde hair.” And then, “How do you sound? Overweight? Have a hair color in your voice?” That’s just how she envisioned me.

Peter Margaritis: [00:33:37] I’m not going to be able to get that out of my mind now.

Dave Caperton: [00:33:41] I know.

Peter Margaritis: [00:33:43] So, here’s the other thing, and I know you do this. A lot of us do, but a lot of people don’t and tend to find it funny. Funny is around us all the time.

Dave Caperton: [00:33:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:33:52] And when you see something funny, or there is something funny, write it down-

Dave Caperton: [00:33:56] Absolutely, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:33:57] … to remember. But most people don’t. Oh, just start looking for things that just are unusual that just make you go, “What?”

Dave Caperton: [00:34:03] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there’s so much incongruity. There are signs that are wrong, right? There are people who are just—I love to watch—just be a people watcher.

Peter Margaritis: [00:34:17] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:34:17] Right? You can almost always find humor in the bathroom mirror in the morning. And I mean, there’s always some place that you can find humor. And I remember walking up to a—there was a sign up where I was at this hotel, and they were doing construction, and they had made a sign. It was a perfectly made sign. They printed it up and it said, “Please excuse our mess. If there is anything we do, just ask.”

Peter Margaritis: [00:34:51] If there is anything we do, just-

Dave Caperton: [00:34:51] Somebody left out some words somewhere.

Peter Margaritis: [00:34:51] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:34:52] If there is anything we do. Just ask. I’m like, “Is there anything you do?” So, I mean, it’s just—and my son, he loves to walk around taking pictures of funny signs and things that are—because it is. I mean, once you develop, sort of, a radar for it, then you filter for it. And the funny things that people say, and they’re contradictory things that people say, it just makes you laugh.

Peter Margaritis: [00:35:18] And the other night in the cocktail hour, they were reminiscing about the day with a bunch of other people. And there’s a few things that they love, the content of it now. But you see things differently, and you’re able to deliver it in a way that just makes people laugh. And you weren’t being disrespecting or anything, but you just—almost like this, “Well, what if?” if anything? But-

Dave Caperton: [00:35:45] Oh God.

Peter Margaritis: [00:35:45] But it’s that attitude. It’s just looking at things, and looking at the world from a different lens, and there’s more humor around us. I was like kind up on a flight, Delta flight. We’re flying to Atlanta. And I was in the bulkhead seat with a gentleman next to me, and there was a young couple, and they had a baby.

Dave Caperton: [00:36:07] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:36:08] And then, all of a sudden, as they unbuckle your seat belts, they go, “Please move around the cabin.” Oh, good lord. Something stunk. My eyes were—what the heck? Nuclear. And the young couple’s changing the baby’s diaper right there. The flight attendant comes out, hits the—and goes, “Oh, dear lord.” And walked right back. Oh, wow. I mean, it was just nuclear.

Dave Caperton: [00:36:42] But those tray tables are awfully handy.

Peter Margaritis: [00:36:47] Yes, they were. I said, “Oh, my.” And they did say, “Please go into the—” But I wrote that down. There’s a story in there. There’s a story in there. There’s some humor there-

Dave Caperton: [00:36:56] Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Peter Margaritis: [00:36:56] … at some point in time. So, I guess, the message to our audience is, (1), lighten up a little bit, right?

Dave Caperton: [00:37:03] Right, sure.

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:03] [Inaudible], but bring humor to work with you every single day.

Dave Caperton: [00:37:09] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:09] But I liked what you said, granular.

Dave Caperton: [00:37:12] Right, a little thing.

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:14] A little thing.

Dave Caperton: [00:37:14] A little thing.

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:15] Don’t come in and go, “Hey, do you know about the priest, and rabbi, and Bill Clinton walk into a bar?” “I did not walk in that bar. I hadn’t walked in a bar in years. I gave that up.” You’re going to-

Dave Caperton: [00:37:25] You always try to find a way to get your first impression.

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:27] I know. That’s the only one I have that really works. But I’ve been working on Morgan Freeman because I think of Morgan’s voice that he can read an IRS letter to you, and you would be happy about it. He has that smoothness in his voice.

Dave Caperton: [00:37:45] Yeah. Yeah. That’s Bill Clinton doing Morgan Freeman.

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:49] Freeman. Why are you going to say that?

Dave Caperton: [00:37:49] It’s a very obscure impression-

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:53] Exactly.

Dave Caperton: [00:37:53] … of Peter Margaritis.

Peter Margaritis: [00:37:54] Right. I’m not a professional impressionist, but I try to be. I play one on TV.

Dave Caperton: [00:38:03] Anyway, I—here’s a very simple—I think, a very simple challenge is the things that irritate us, we all have to get in traffic sometimes. It’s irritating. We all have to deal with the idiot who is in the left lane with his right blinker on, and it’s been on since you’ve crossed the state line, right? We all have to deal with that. This is what I have tried to make much more my habit, choose amusement over anger.

Peter Margaritis: [00:38:39] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:38:39] Choose amusement over anger. That is the choice you have. There was a YouTube video that went viral a few years ago. And this little kid who, at his grandmother’s house, was eating things that his mother told him he could not eat. He was three years old, right? He is a little Hispanic kid, and his mother, she’s filming this. And he’s calling her by her name. Not mom, he’s calling her Linda, right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:39:09] Really?

Dave Caperton: [00:39:09] And she said, “You are not listening to me. You are not—” He said, “No, no, you are not listening to me, Linda. Linda, you are not listening to me.” And it was cute as it could be. He’s closing his eyes, and pointing his finger. “No, no, you are not listening to me. I am allowed to eat at Grandma’s house, right?” And it went viral because it was so cute to watch this kid go, “Linda.” But my wife and I, because we’ve been married for over 30 years, and she’s my best friend, and my business partner, and my laugh buddy. She is absolutely all those things. I’m very blessed in that.

Peter Margaritis: [00:39:45] Yes, you are because I’ve witnessed it. And, yes, you are very blessed that way.

Dave Caperton: [00:39:48] Thank you, yeah. And so, I mean, I couldn’t get through the day without her. And I know that that’s an advantage and something that I have that a lot of people don’t have. But we still bicker.

Peter Margaritis: [00:40:00] Of course, you’re married.

Dave Caperton: [00:40:01] We’re married. I hear people are like, “We never fight.” I’m like, “Then, one of you is dead,” right? Or wishes they were, or wishes you were, right? Because if two people are together, and they agree on everything, one of them is not necessary, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:40:18] Right, right.

Dave Caperton: [00:40:19] So, if we would find ourselves getting into some stupid little, we knew. You know how you know you’re heading for it, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:40:27] Yes.

Dave Caperton: [00:40:27] There’s just—we’re just not in the same emotional place, and some things kind of getting under the skin. If one of us would go, “Linda. Linda, you are not listening to me,” what that did was it was like it gave us an exit ramp. You can take this, or you can continue down that road. And you know, it’s down that road. A really ugly day.

Peter Margaritis: [00:40:48] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:40:48] Right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:40:49] Right, right.

Dave Caperton: [00:40:50] So, if we could take that, that was an opportunity. And if we could laugh in that moment, and that allowed us to kind of go, “You know what? This is stupid.” And so, that’s the choosing amusement over anger.

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:01] Amusement over anger.

Dave Caperton: [00:41:04] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:04] And I kind of do that all the time.

Dave Caperton: [00:41:05] Do you?

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:06] But when my wife and I, we have disagreements, or I’m being a knucklehead, I know I’m not the easiest person to love, but the one thing—and hopefully-

Dave Caperton: [00:41:14] That’s true, you aren’t.

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:15] But, hopefully, she says, at one point in time, maybe it’s at my eulogy, whatever, she goes, “You know what, he made me laugh every single day.”

Dave Caperton: [00:41:22] Oh, that.

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:23] “He was home, though. When he was home.”

Dave Caperton: [00:41:25] When he was home.

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:26] When he was home. But I just love making her laugh.

Dave Caperton: [00:41:30] There you go.

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:31] That’s my goal every day on the phone or if I’m home.

Dave Caperton: [00:41:37] As opposed to your previous marriage, which was, “He made me smile every single day he was gone.”

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:41] He was gone. You knew my first wife? It was a lot like that. There was a whole lot of humor there. But I attribute that coming up to 24 years. First one lasted three years-

Dave Caperton: [00:41:57] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:41:57] … on paper, but just that congruency. And once you get to know the person for a long period time, you can be at an engagement or a cocktail party looking across the room and know exactly what the other person is thinking.

Dave Caperton: [00:42:13] Oh, yeah, yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:42:13] And just, sometimes, even by that look can make her laugh.

Dave Caperton: [00:42:16] Right, right, right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:42:17] Yeah, yeah. And that’s like the creme de la creme right there.

Dave Caperton: [00:42:19] Oh, yeah. Well, that’s what—when you have a wonderful marriage, or you have a wonderful, even a friendship, close relationship, this is what I think organizations, business organizations, work teams, and all, we act like that’s some completely different animal that runs by different rules. Human relationships and the dynamics of human interaction are remarkably similar in marriage, and work teams, and friendships, and groups of people-

Peter Margaritis: [00:42:52] Co-workers and-

Dave Caperton: [00:42:53] Co-workers, yeah, I mean, remarkably similar needs and remarkably similar communication. A lot of this, there’s a lot more similarities between groups of people who are bound together in a single purpose. And what you want is a certain amount of intimacy. And when that happens, you know it happens. It’s because you have—you know what in a marriage looking across-

Peter Margaritis: [00:43:16] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:43:17] Stephen King, the author, he called it the interior language of marriage. We have our own language that we understand, words that we say, stories we share. Families have that, have an interior language. Humor is one of the great uses of it is it defines an outside from an inside. The people who get the joke are inside. And by getting it, they know they’re inside. Yeah. When we share an inside joke, that means, “Hey, I’m safely in here with my tribe.” And that’s one of the things that humor does. So, nobody’s laughing together, you’re not making enough contact points that really could be beneficial in a lot of ways.

Peter Margaritis: [00:44:06] And if you’re not laughing together, they’re looking for other employment.

Dave Caperton: [00:44:12] Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:44:12] I mean, it’s an engagement tool that we need to remember to have fun at work and bring that humor because that keeps people engaged versus they’re fighting all the time.

Dave Caperton: [00:44:22] Right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:44:22] Really, it’s just like a marriage.

Dave Caperton: [00:44:28] It is. It is. I mean, there are things that we all want. We have to know we matter.

Peter Margaritis: [00:44:31] Right, right.

Dave Caperton: [00:44:32] We have to be recognized, right. We have to feel included, right? That we are actually part of this, and share a purpose together that’s bigger than any one of us. And we have to know somebody cares about us. Those really are the things that they’re central to every successful and functional relationship. And I think what the mistake sometimes that work teams make is they make it all transaction.

Peter Margaritis: [00:45:01] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:45:01] “I give you money. You give me work. We have a contract. That’s how it works,” right? Like, that’s fine. But here’s the problem with transactional thinking. You’re an accountant, right?

Peter Margaritis: [00:45:11] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:45:11] You know that at the heart of every transaction is what? What’s the least I can give for the most I can get?

Peter Margaritis: [00:45:18] Right.

Dave Caperton: [00:45:20] That’s not a recipe for real engagement. That’s not a recipe for people who are going to be able to create more than the sum of their parts, right.

Peter Margaritis: [00:45:31] Yeah.

Dave Caperton: [00:45:31] That happens when they’re getting needs met. That happens when they feel included. That happens when they feel appreciated. That happens when they laugh together.

Peter Margaritis: [00:45:38] So, Dave, it’s—I don’t know. What time is it? It’s 2:56 here in Denver, Colorado, which means it’s 5:00 back home.

Dave Caperton: [00:45:48] I know what that means to you, Peter.

Peter Margaritis: [00:45:50] I was thinking that maybe I should just go to the general session, and listen to the speakers, and then wait for Denver 5:00.

Dave Caperton: [00:46:00] Yeah. Yeah. But you’ve decided. That’s doesn’t sound like that’s what your decision is.

Peter Margaritis: [00:46:06] Well, I’m still deciding, but, in all honesty, I greatly appreciate you taking time. I love your message. Every time I’m [inaudible], I’m always laughing. I wish you would teach me a little bit more of what you—about how you craft humor because you’ve been doing a lot longer than I have. And you’ve got some chops that I wish that I had. But I love talking with you. You’re funny as hell. And I love this message that you’re out there—I’m not going to use the word preach or casting among the organizations. Really have to run their business successfully by incorporating joy and humor.

Dave Caperton: [00:46:49] You got it.

Peter Margaritis: [00:46:50] All right.

Dave Caperton: [00:46:52] I think I’ve got a convert. One more disciple.

Peter Margaritis: [00:46:58] Yeah, let’s—hopefully, this episode will turn out some more converts and more people that will drink the water.

Dave Caperton: [00:47:09] Yeah, I hope so. Yeah.

Peter Margaritis: [00:47:11] Not the Dave Matthews song, Don’t Drink the Water. I didn’t want to use Kool-Aid because that’s Jim Jones kind of thing from way back in the past. So, I hope-

Dave Caperton: [00:47:21] Let’s get on a mass suicide joke. So far, we’ve covered pancreatic cancer, diabetes, childhood cancer, and a bionic tragedy.

Peter Margaritis: [00:47:36] Okay. Let’s both say goodbye the same time.

Dave Caperton: [00:47:38] No, you hang up first.

Peter Margaritis: [00:47:39] No, you hang up. You go first. No, you go first. Thanks again, Dave.

Dave Caperton: [00:47:43] Thank you, Peter.

Peter Margaritis: [00:47:47] All right, bye.

Peter Margaritis: [00:47:47] Now that you’ve listened to this episode, what will you do to bring joy to your organization? Will you change your mindset and bring the attitude of humor and joy to work with you every single day? Personally, I hope you do, because everyone would rather work with someone with this attitude versus the opposite. Take a moment and think about that.

Peter Margaritis: [00:48:10] Thank you for listening. And if you enjoyed the podcast, please subscribe and share this episode with a friend. Also, please visit www.c-suiteradio.com to listen to many of the excellent business podcasts they have in their network.

Announcer: [00:48:29] Like what you just heard? Because it’s c-suiteradio.com. C-Suite Radio: turning the volume up on business.